As I started to write on this topic, I decided to go out to Dr. Google and see what others had to say about beingness. It was a term I learned in one of my first personal development seminars and by listening to the seminar speaker, I thought I had a pretty good idea. But just to be sure, it required a visit to the good doctor.
First stop, the Oxford Dictionary:
The quality or state of existing, especially as distinct from having particular attributes; entity, actuality.
Next, I did some cruising on the net. Three days cruising from blogs about meditation, posts to help a person understand higher self, information about being, and learning about mindfulness. But little agreement about beingness, at least from what I found.
So you get my thoughts on this topic. Can I get a “HELL YES!”?
If you haven’t grabbed my Self-Affirmation workbook, you want to do that. Some of what I’ve learned comes from doing affirmations. You see, for years, I have said affirmations and then hoped my mind would make me believe it. That belief didn’t always come until I took a few more steps.
You see, we need to be, then do, in order to have that affirmation become reality.
Three wise men said:
‘To be is to do’ —Socrates
‘To do is to be’—Jean Paul Sartre
Do-be-do-be-do-be-do. —Frank Sinatra
Now that I’ve added a bit of humor to this conversation, let me explain my interpretation of what they are talking about. I also want to point out the addition I would make if I was in the same room as Socrates, Sartre, and Sinatra.
When you think about an affirmation you start with what you want to be. Perhaps, circumstances necessitate the need to behave as a person who can handle tough situations. Maybe the affirmation that most supports you would be, for example, “I am strong.” If you had a magic wand, you could wave it around and all of a sudden, your request is reality. But it doesn’t work that way.
Once you have identified how you want to be, it is important to determine the essence of what would make your affirmation true for you, for you to be strong. Another way to say this is: What is the beingness you would have to step into to create the strong person you are looking to become? How would you show up to the world if you were to embody this characteristic?
You’ve figured out what you want (to BE strong), then you determined the beingness it would take to accomplish that (tenacious, fearless, courageous, etc.). Now you can do what it takes to be that strong person.
Beingness is the step I think the earlier quoted three wise men left out. If I wrote it I’d write,
(To the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat)
Be, be, beingness,
Do, do, do, be do. Beingness, Do.
Not quite as clever as Socrates, Sartre, and Sinatra, but you get the idea.
Beingness. Is it a bit more clear?
I sometimes think mindfulness would be an easier word to understand, but I don’t think it fits the true meaning of beingness. Mindfulness seems a little more passive. When I think about mindfulness, I think of meditation. As I consider beingness, I would describe it more as an essence that one would embody.
Let’s go just a bit further on this topic. There is another consideration one must recognize when going from being, to beingness, to doing, and then finally having. In order to create the space in life for the changes that will occur from embracing the beingness needed to accomplish dreams, creating space in our life by removing some things that don’t serve us. If we are stepping into strength, we may want to make a list of all the things that scare us about what we want to accomplish, then destroy the list, getting rid of the fear and creating space for all the things we want as we embody the beingness of a strong woman.
“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” ~Alan Watts
So, if you're realizing you are a little stuck and/or feeling lost, step back, focus on your beingness and focus on who you are becoming, because you cannot DO and HAVE the things that you want in life until you become the person that's worthy of those things.