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The Pain of Building and Remodeling Houses



“The words we speak become the house we live in.”


I ran across this quote, attributed to Hafez, on a friend’s social media page earlier this week. I always say “focus on what you want to find.” When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.


It always amazes me what shows up for me. I was working with one of my coaches last week and we really focused on the language I use. You see, having inspirational things to say to myself is not my instinct. My instinct is to beat myself up. Even with many years of coaching and working on it, my go-to is “Why can’t you do it right?” “If you were a better mom this wouldn't have happened.” “If I was good in relationships I would have lots of friends.”


Out of habit, or the programming that runs me, I make this thinking a habit. It still takes me time to notice it. I must be doing something wrong.


Did you catch it? Did you see what I did there? I used my habit of thinking I wasn’t perfect to make those words seem like I had failed and wasn’t making progress.


My coach reminds me, much like I remind my clients, how to reframe my words. To reframe that earlier thought of “I must be doing something wrong.” I reframe it to, “Today I notice my words and reframe them to serve me to be my best self.”



Words are like legos. They are the foundation, the blocks, of the reality we continually recreate. Bruce Lipton, a cellular biologist, points to the impact of thoughts and words in his research in cell physiology. His work supports the idea that virtually every one of our cellular functions is affected by the electromagnetic fields– the invisible energy forces produced by thoughts and words. Knowing this, it’s important to be conscious of how we are composing our life scripts with our words.


The language we use can build a beautiful mansion or it can demolish even the most humble abode. If we remember this, that the words we speak are the blueprints for the house we will inhabit, how might we speak to ourselves differently?


Words have super-powers: they can inspire others, heal wounds, create love, abolish injustice, or calm a crying child. And they can help you to define and create an extraordinary life. When will you create a safe place in your thoughts where you inspire yourself, where you love yourself, and where you choose justice for yourself?

If you are ready to work with a contractor (coach) that can help you begin to use words to support building the house of your dreams, let’s talk. Wouldn’t you rather begin that journey sooner than later?


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