To Be Stuck or Not to Be Stuck
That is the Question
We all get stuck.
We all become paralyzed by a decision we need to make or unsure of a choice. We can be stuck in resentments and expectations. (Unapologetic plug for you to read my last two blog posts!) “Stuck” is a negative state that is unproductive. Stuck is like having the situation on an endless loop that plays over and over again, or like being the wheel in a squirrel cage, or even a runaway roller coaster that has no brakes.
Truth bomb: Nobody is stuck. Unless you are in a bucket of hardened cement. That would be stuck for sure.
When we speak of being stuck, we become that. We become unproductive, frozen, afraid to move. The words begin to take over our thoughts and also our physiology. Think about the last time you were stuck. Maybe you are stuck currently.
Describe stuck, what does it mean? Who the heck even knows? To some it means overwhelmed, to others it means depressed, scared, stressed… If you’ve been stuck in the past, what did it mean? Did it always mean the same thing?
One period of stuckness for me meant sheer fright of the future. And then another stuckness meant unorganized. Stuck is such a vast word when you use it in the context of the state we are in, and I’m not talking about one of the 50 states.
When we say/think “I am stuck” we become that. The word stuck takes over, it hypnotizes you into actually staying stuck. Here is where we climb on that never-ending roller coaster, unless we choose differently.
If you find yourself wanting something month after month, year after year, yet nothing happens and you never come any closer to it. . . Maybe you don’t actually want it at all.
-Mark Manson
How do we become unstuck? So glad you asked.
Define Stuck
What does stuck mean for you right now, at this moment of stuckness? Is it unhappiness in a job or relationship? Is it uncertainty about a decision you have to make? Maybe it’s a lack of progress on your health journey. Defining is Step One.
Notice and Change Your Physiology
Do a physiology check right now. (Not just posture, but tone of voice, speed of speech, etc.) When you think about a time you felt stuck, your shoulders were probably stooped, your chin tilted down. You may have spoken slowly and your volume was low. Change it up. Stand tall, talk faster and a little louder. Step Two - Notice and Change your Physiology.
Shift your Perspective
Rather than being stuck, change it up. Maybe you are feeling like barriers are immovable. Ask yourself, what would make this fun for you? How would you make your language serve you better? How about we make the shift from it being hard to being fun? Finding new ways to achieve my goals is exciting. I learn when I choose a different action. Step Three.
Change Your Belief System
What if that stuckness comes from a limiting belief? The belief you can’t do something because of some “rule” you made up in your life. I’m stuck because I don’t know how to get past this feeling. I’m just supposed to feel this way. My question: WHO MADE THAT RULE?
Uninvestigated limiting beliefs can lead to being stuck, so get rid of them.
When you know that there is a belief that keeps you where you are, reach out to someone who can help you bust through that belief. A good coach and coaching session or two can help you with that. When you bust up that belief, you can create a new one to get you to the place you want to be. This is Step Four.
Take Action
Step Five can actually be done at any time in the journey. In fact, the sooner you take action, the sooner you can get to where you want to be. Even if it's a messy action. Even if you don’t know what you are doing. Even if you aren’t sure if you are headed in the right direction. Action can lead to busting through some of what is stopping you. So do it, no matter what.
If you are looking to make some major changes in life, these steps will be helpful in moving you forward. As Steve Jobs says:
Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.